Thursday, August 27, 2015

Falling Forward

It's that time of year again, when the height of expectation hangs in the cool breeze and the sweaters come out with scarves and boots. Fall is on the rise and so is my itch to write.

I've been absent- as seems my trend- due to life. I switched jobs within a matter of five days at the beginning of June. I interviewed on a Thursday, did a working interview on the following Monday, and I started that Wednesday. Since then I've been working 8-11 hour shifts with a 40 hour work week and haven't had the mental capacity for much else. Needless to say, my world has been caught up in a whirlwind. And it's about to happen again.

I'm ready for a change. I've enjoyed the new job but due to the nature of the work and the demands of the practice, I'm pursuing a different avenue. And you know what? I've finally decided to put into action the words that have been echoing in my heart since January: "Quit waiting. Now is the time to write."

"Write what?" you may ask.

I don't know and I'm not sure it matters.

In the past I have been paralyzed by fear, doubt and insecurities. I would often question what I can offer and often dropped the ball on opportunities for advancement of my dreams. I never wanted to move forward without the certainty of security because I was so afraid of making a mistake. I believe I was unconsciously sabotaging myself and stalling. I'm a perfectionist and while many people will say shooting for perfection is admirable, what it really becomes is a shackle and succubus. Perfection doesn't give when pursued from a place of fear. It only steals.

I'm pursuing a new way of thinking and choosing to take initiative. Mistakes are the stone against which we are sharpened, if we allow them to teach us. I may fall but I'm choosing to fall forward into the future instead of falling back into old habits.

Adventure is out there. Now go experience it.

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