The cursor blinks at me as I sit, staring into the void that is a blank page.
How do you begin a story mid-rex? I've always marveled at the beautiful way writers are able to grab your attention and carry you from confusion, to enlightenment and deep into compassion for a character. It is no easy thing to draw someone in to a life that is caught up in a
conflict, but, after all, don't we all love the drama of a change and a challenge?
I can admit that I do not volunteer for change. A challenge, yes, but change? I'm a creature of habit. If I were a character from Middle Earth, I may very well fit in with the Hobbits who like their life comfy-cozy, their food rich in flavor and their nature pure. But sometimes forces invade the comfortable hobbit hole of life, crashing through the door and demanding you go on an adventure. So you pack up your nap sack and stand attention to your Gandalf's direction: "What next?"
But there are also times when you are on the outside viewing someone else taking the head spin into an amazing adventure filled with danger and all the promise of success. This was Bilbo when Frodo had his visit from Gandalf. He left the ring behind and traveled out to visit Rivendell. He laid aside the burden he had been carrying and found respite in that beautiful realm (For those of you who have seen the movie- Why can't we have something as beautiful and serene as that? I mean, really?)
As much as I would love to say I'm Frodo about to go wage war on Sauron, I'm Bilbo. For two years I have served a campus ministry that reaches students for Christ and equips them in leadership. I have seen students be transformed and challenged in their faith. I have also served as an admin for a youth ministry, stepping in two years ago after the previous admin of 12 years vacated the position; and I have served on a leadership team growing a newly launched college-age ministry at our church. I don't say all of this to glorify myself. I need to say it to affirm what I have accomplished and to remind myself of the adventures I have been on; they have been amazing but wearisome. I have seen the Lonely Mountain, fought some dragons and now I'm coming into a season of rest while others take the helm of these ministries. I should be elated, but I fight against disappointment.
I wonder if Bilbo sat looking out over the beauty of that glen and longed for what Frodo was experiencing. Or did he simply lean back and wish the young lad luck? In truth, I think there was probably a bit of both. It's hard to let go when your heart is wrapped up in something, whether it's a job or a relationship, or something entirely different. However, if you keep clinging to that thing, you may find yourself losing it or losing out on another opportunity more fulfilling and a better fit.
So I let go. I listen to the crickets chirp and soak in the cool breeze that our lovely Ohio weather is affording us in early August. I think of the new leaders and wish them luck. I anticipate where this new path will bring me in the next six months. My Rivendell may just be another launch into a bigger adventure. I don't know what to expect but I know for now I'm willing to be still and enjoy the serenity.
What season are you in?
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